Bittersweet Memories
by xxAugustaxx
Summary: Set in an alternate ish season 3. Kyle finds himself struggling to finish senior year and raise his and Tess’ baby after Tess decided to up and leave Kyle and their daughter and go back to Antar. M/T never slept together in s2; Tess never killed Alex


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Bittersweet Memories

**Synopsis:** Kyle's POV. (Set in alt. S3). Kyle finds himself struggling to finish senior year and raise his and Tess' baby after Tess decided to up and leave Kyle and their daughter and go back to Antar. (Max and Tess never slept together in s2; Tess never killed Alex).

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I last posted a Roswell fic! My computer decided to crash (the hard drive fried) then the fan thingy in the back decided to stop working... siigh. Ain't technology grand? Anywho, I decided to write my first Lamptrimmer fic;whileas I don't really care for Tess, I did however love her and Kyle together. As I'm sure you've gathered from the summary, this isn't a happy fluffy fic. But the idea wouldn't go away till I wrote it, so... Hope everyone enjoys it!

**Feedback:** I LOVE feedback! Please don't hesitate to e-mail me! Unless of coarse it's flame mail; that I can most certainly live without!

As I look down at her sleeping soundly, I still can't believe she's here. It all happened so fast, I still haven't accepted she's mine. If someone had told me a year ago I'd be here, I'd tell them to get their head checked. Then again, this could never have been foreseen by anyone. I know I sure didn't see it coming.

Yep, a lot of things have happened in my life I never predicted, starting from the moment Liz was shot in the CrashDown café three years ago. From then on out, my life took a very odd turn in the road of life. The turning point of coarse was when I met _her_. Tess Harding. Well, that and finding out she, Max, Isabel, and Michael were aliens from another planet. This I learned after Max brought me back from the dead using his special alien powers. But anyways, back to what I was saying…

I had heard the faintest of news that there'd be a new girl arriving. When? I had no idea. But then one day she was there, her shoulder length blond hair bounced as she walked; her smile perfect. From her head to her toes she was every high school guys fantasy. She surely caught my attention. We went on one 'date' -if you can even call it that, before she began hanging out with Isabel (and later on that whole little group in which I am now a part of.) The funny thing is, she and I didn't hang out that much until after I came back from Football camp; after I had found Buddha. Things had become hectic in the group and Evans brought Tess to stay with us to keep her safe. Fair to say I was a little surprised to findthe half naked blond fast asleep on my couch one morning. That's when it all really began.

I was hesitant at first to get close to her. After all, she was one of 'them'. So for a while I pushed my physical attraction for her out of my mind, but over time with her and I under one roof -I had felt bad and given her my room the second day she arrived- the attraction was inevitable. But I wasn't sure how she felt about be, and I sure as hell wasn't about to do something dumb like make a move on her. What if she didn't feel the same way? I always had this sneaking feeling that she liked Evans, who only had eyes for Liz. I had reason to suspect however; on their home planet, they had been married. King and Queen in fact. What guy wouldn'thesitant after hearing this?

Eventually though, it was obvious she had feelings for me, and not him. I learned this shortly after we attended junior prom together. I couldn't believe my luck! Must have been all those times we were saving the world from some nwe threat and were paired together. By this time, my feelings for her were growing more and more. Yes, me, Kyle. The guy who never had those sort of feelings for any girl. I never used a girl, but I wasn't much for the whole 'stars-in-your-eyes-heart-soaring-with-joy' sort of thing. You know, the mushy romance stuff. But with her, it was different.

I look back down at her and smile. She looks so much like Tess; she's got the same blond hair and nose as she. I remember the day Tess told me she was pregnant as clear as day. It's fair to say that was the scariest moment of my life. We had been careful, made sure we used protection every time. There was only one time we didn't and because of that lapse of judgment, both our lives were changed forever. Max, Liz, Michael, Maria, Alex and Isabel were all shocked when they found out. Not as shocked as we were, but they were still shocked. Telling my dad was both better and worse than either of us expected. He had been angry, shocked, disappointed, caught off guard when we told him, but eventually he calmed down and assured us we could stay there, the three of us, till we were on our feet and finished high school. However, we got the third degree from Max and Michael about how stupid we had been, and how this pregnancy could put everyone in danger. I resented it at the time, but they were right. Not just that, but we were only seventeen; high school juniors. Our whole lives ahead of us.

I suddenly saw my future fade away. I know it's selfish to say, and I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything in the world, but you know what they say; can't miss the things you never had. Sure we could have given the baby up or terminated the pregnancy but neither of those options appealed to me. Besides, we had no idea what she was carrying. Would our baby be half human, half alien like Tess was? A Hybrid? Or would it be completely human because I was human and Tess was part human? No, we couldn't get rid of the baby either way, so reluctantly we went through with it.

The pregnancy wasn't that long. Not as long as a normal human pregnancy, which scared me. Tess was pregnant for two months. Boy what a long two months that was! She said this was because she was alien and alien pregnancies only last that long. Our daughter, Kaylee, was born July eighth, -which was pretty ironic seeings how the ship that carried Tess and the others to earth crashed on July fourth; a week before our daughters birthday.Because we weren't surewhat to expect, Tess was forced to give birth here at home.I'll never forget that night. The night our daughter was born, that is.

I remember the first few weeks after Kaylee was born. Tess and I hadn't spoken much, both still shocked this was happening to us; getting used to the idea that we were now parents and were in charge of another life. We'd both get up to feed, change and tend to our daughter; I took responsibility and helped out as much as possible. As the days and weeks went on, Tess began to keep to herself. I noticed this and tried to talk to her. I knew something was wrong and I wanted to let her know I was there for her. I even brought home flowers one afternoon. That put a small smile on her face, which instantly warmed my heart. I loved her, I didn't want us to drift apart now. Not after all we'd been through…

I should have seen it coming. My mom up and left me and my dad one day out of the blue and never came back. I guess I was hoping things with Tess and I would be different. I, to this day, still wonder what was going through her head as she packed her stuff and walked out the door only a month after our daughter was born. Walked out on out daughter. Walked out on me.

I, however, didn't have to wonder where it was she _went_; she had left me a letter explaining how she loved me and our daughter, but she was scared she'd be a bad mother and couldn't handle it so she was returning to Antar, their home planet. I was filled with a million different emotions after I finished reading the letter. Did she think I wasn't feeling the same way? That I wasn't worried, scared and insecure as hell about being a father? Yet I made no plans to leave; I constantly assured her of this. Apparently she'd rather return to a planet she knew nothing about, and be queen, than stay with me, on earth, and raise our beautiful daughter together.

Now I am alone, raising our daughter, who is now fourteen months old today. Sure the other help out babysitting and such, but she's_ my_ sole responsibility. What would I tell her when she got older and asked why her mommy wasn't there? What could I say? I have no idea when she's coming back to us, if ever. My heart hurts for both of us. I loved her more than I think she knew and she left me. I look up at the stars at night, silently praying for her return. Buddha tells us to be patient, to accept the bad that has happened and move on, but how can I?

How am I going to accept and move on from the fact that the half human, half alien girl who has my heart, and had my child, also broke my heart and left us for another planet? I don't regret a single second Tess and I had together, or a single memory that will forever haunt me. I just hope one day she changes her mind and comes back to us.


End file.
